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rachel downing
Thoughts, Theories & Therapy.
This weekend our church had a spiritual gifts workshop led by Dr. Dan Green who is a Professor at Moody Theological Seminary. I am pretty familiar with the spiritual gifts listed in Romans 12:7-8 and have read a lot about them, so this workshop was particularly interesting to me. It also required some self-assessment and reflection which the counselor in me always enjoys. Before the weekend our homework was to complete two online spiritual gift tests at http://elmertowns.com/spiritual_gifts_test/ and http://www.churchgrowth.org/analysis/intro.php to determine (if we weren’t already familiar with) our spiritual gifts.
For those of you who aren’t familiar with spiritual gifts, there are different categories. The ones we were studying are the so-called functional gifts (from Romans 12) which include: Evangelism, Prophecy, Teaching, Exhortation, Pastor/Shepherd, Mercy, Serving, Giving, and Administration.
It was interesting to compare the two tests because obviously, they were different and therefore had different results. For me, the top two on Elmerstown were serving and adminstration, while on Churchgrowth serving was replaced with exhortation.
Administration is no surprise to me because I love to plan and organize things. A few weeks ago we had our ISATs at school and though it was chaotic and nerve-wracking at times, I really enjoyed the process. At church, I really enjoy preparing schedules and helping plan events.
Likewise, serving is also not a big surprise because I enjoy helping out and being involved in whatever is going on in church. I am one of those people who has a hard time saying no and tends to get involved in too many things. Probably not the healthiest use of this gift!
The other gift, exhortation, surprised me. When I first think of exhortation, I think of encouragement, and I do not, by nature, consider myself a very encouraging person. However, when I read some of the description listed, I was the one being encouraged.
As an exhorter you are a very practical person, a good counselor, tolerant of others, serious-minded, orderly, and usually impulsive. You are expressive in a group setting; the group listens when you speak. You are comfortable working one-on-one or in groups. You are enthusiastic and talkative and enjoy encouraging others….Beware of Satan’s attack on your gift. He may cause pride in your motivational abilities. He may influence you to lose sight of people because of program emphasis….You may want to be a leadership trainer. You could certainly serve as a counselor in a church or in a counseling center.
Well, if this doesn’t describe my professional job, I don’t know what does! That in of itself was encouraging to see because I have always felt very strongly about my job and God’s calling on my life. I never anticipated using my spiritual gift in my profession. Dr. Green pointed out that is interesting to see, but doesn’t always happen.
So for me, that begs the question, can someone have different gifts for different aspects of his/her life? As I thought about it more, one of the tests seemed to represent my role within our church while the other seemed to reflect my professional life.
And this was all before the workshop! As we went through the gifts, discussing them in detail, learning about others and how to best use our gifts I was certainly pegged with some self-doubt. I could certainly feel the inadequacy of not having developed my gifts much and having a lot of work to do to fulfill the responsibilities God has placed on my life with these gifts. That is both exciting and terrifying.
There were many encouraging things in the workshop and it definitely left me thinking about what I need to do to honor God with the gifts he has given me. Some important points that I think are worth remembering were:
I think sometimes (especially within the Christian world) there is an idea that if I love it, it must be wrong, but in this, God gave us these passions for a reason! Just talking about my gifts and what can be done in the church got me all excited! And that’s okay!
We closed the workshop with discussion on the following question: “If the people of Crosspoint Church were all using their gifts, what would the church look like?” Such a powerful question for The Church too!
Now it’s your turn. How are you using your gift?
This is a long post so bear with me…
Yesterday was payday and a great way to end the work week! Our middle school had just finished Illinois Standard Achievement Tests (ISATs) and everyone was feeling particularly giddy. Me especially, because I had just completed a major leg of the ISAT race in my first year as ISAT coordinator (my ISAT job is far from done for the year, but getting the bulk of the testing done this week was a great accomplishment). Usually I just throw my pay-stub in my bag without even opening it but today it felt like there was something else inside. As I looked at my pay-stub, I found a letter from our superintendent that made me angry. Not at him or our school district, but at our government.
Now I am not the type of person to get angry or rant and rave about issues especially online, but this fired me up enough to write my first blog in how long? 11 months? Nor am I one to stir up debates. I do not pretend to know much about the government and politics and usually leave my husband to explain things (or rather dumb things down) for me, but I am just going to write about the things I am seeing… . and beginning to experience firsthand.
The Past
First of all, if you don’t know me well, let me give you some background on my occupational history. In 2005 I finally completed my graduate degree and began working at a small school district south of Peoria. I had never heard of the school district before, but when I saw the job posting for a full-time middle school counselor, I applied. Though the school was an hour drive from my home, it was a good fit for me and I immediately felt a connection to the staff and students. In many ways it was an ideal job. The middle school was located in a different town from the rest of the district, in an old but roomy building and there were about 200 students in grades 6-8 which is an ideal caseload for a counselor. We had our own principal and the staff worked very well together.
In my second year working there it became evident that big changes were coming. Balancing a budget and finding funds to cover all the expenses are always a concern in any school district, and you can always find articles in the paper about a school dealing with budget problems. Our school was no exception. They were doing everything they could to cut costs while still providing a quality education to their students, not to mention meeting government regulations such as Adequate Yearly Progress (AYP) and No Child Left Behind (NCLB). That spring we found out that some the budget cuts would include closing our building moving the middle school over to the building that housed the high school and grade school, eliminating the middle school principal position, and eliminating my job. That news rocked my world and it was hard not to take personally. However, as devastating as it was, it wasn’t a huge shock. Middle school counselors are a bit of a luxury in the Illinois school system, and on paper, it is a logical position to cut.
As I said, I was devastated. And 5 month pregnant. Being a stay-at-home-mom was never in my vocabulary and now I was faced with that possibility. Or find a new job and start said job on maternity leave. Not exactly an ideal situation for an employer either. Long story short, my husband and I decided that I would not take another position but stay home for the time being and see what the future would hold.
That fall, I got an email from one of my old co-workers. She had worked with me the previous year and had also lost her job as the MS girls PE teacher, but was able to relocate to the HS as a teacher. In her new position she was also in charge of the school’s Career Link chapter. Through funds provided for this program, a little money had been allocated to pay for a part, part-time career counselor for the year. It would be one day a week and included co-teaching a career class for juniors and seniors, career counseling for high school and any other miscellaneous counseling needed. It was right up my alley so as we worked the details, I accepted the position working on Wednesdays starting in October and ending in April.
The following year the school reopened the middle school counseling position on a part-time scale. I guess everyone complained enough to get some changes! Needless to say, I got my old position back and it was an ideal situation for me. I love my job as a counselor and I love my job as a mother. Though I hadn’t planned it, I had come to love staying at home and had not been pursuing a full-time position. I still wanted to work, so going back to my old school, working with the people I already knew and had a working relationship with, picking my own schedule and hours provided the exact opportunity I was looking for.
The Present
Flash forward to now (lots of history to cover!). I am finishing out my second year working part-time with plans already in motion for next year. Though it is always a fear that my job will be eliminated again, I have been informed that I am good to go for next year. It tends to be a running joke between the principal and myself, and I tell him, “if you fire me again, I am NOT coming back!”
SO, back to the original intent of this blog post. The purpose of this post is not for me to express my worries of losing my job (that’s not something I would blog about) but more to give you context of my thoughts and feelings as I read the letter from the superintendent. The letter actually had nothing to do with my position but did bring up the concerns of the budget. From my understanding our school budget has been balanced for the 10-11 school year, but we, like many other schools, are running into problems because we are not being paid by the government.
As of current, the government is almost $300K behind in payments to our district (and this is small potatoes compared to some districts) with 2 quarters down and 2 to go of the fiscal year. So our superintendent and board are re-working the budget in the event that the problem is not rectified. And that means more budget cuts. Our district is already doing as much as they can to close the gap without cutting more personnel or necessary expenses. But how long will that last? Not long if the government doesn’t cough up what is already owed.
The Future
My question is why? Why is the government spending so much in stimulus packages, bailing out big businesses, credit card companies and any other entity you can think of and not paying out the money needed to keep the institutions that are educating tomorrow’s leaders operating adequately? Now granted, I understand that schools received stimulus money as well, but again, that is part of the problem. The government has not been able to put it’s money where it’s mouth is. Not only are schools dealing with not getting the money promised, but trying to balance their budgets on a significant amount of money that was once there and now no longer. Seems like to me, instead of helping our country out of the hole of insufficient funds the government is just handing everyone a shovel to dig themselves deeper.
Like so many others, our school is suffering because our government isn’t following through. AND then, they set standards and benchmarks setting everyone up to fail and say the government will take over the school if these conditions aren’t met. How are we supposed to even have a fighting chance of meeting these standards if we don’t have the resources in place to succeed? It’s called an investment and the government is doing a heck of a job investing in the people who will be in control of this country in the not-to-distant future. We are leading by example, that’s for sure.
Now again, I don’t pretend to know all that is going on in politics and government, and there is a whole lot more going on than I could ever or even want to fathom. You might be thinking, “Rachel this is old news. Are you just now catching up to this?” or “You have no idea what is really going.” I don’t think I could disagree with either statement. I am just frustrated. What is going to happen? What are we setting ourselves up for in the future? I know that my position is just a few more payments away from being cut. And that is an injustice. Not for my sake, because I will survive and move on. Not because I am some great counselor or person, but because kids today need all the help and support they can get. And it keeps getting taken away from them one person at a time.
Yesterday marked six years being married to greatest guy on the planet. Here are just a few of the reasons I continue to fall in love with him everyday.
1. He is a great father. Anyone who has spent any time with the 3 of us can identify in minutes who the preferred parent is. And you know what? I’m okay with that. When study after study shows that the father/child relationship is incredibly crucial to a child’s development, I consider myself blessed to have such a hands-on husband, because I know that not everyone can say that. That being said, he is also a consistent disciplinarian. Probably more so than me. In our house, what daddy says, goes.
2. He’s easygoing. Anyone who knows me, knows I am a scheduler. I plan things out and if things don’t go accordingly, it’s hard for me to adjust. Isaac is great about planning things out, but doesn’t get bent out of shape if things need to be tweaked or changed. He helps me deal with life’s unexpected events a little easier.
3. He tells me everyday that I am beautiful… whether I want to hear it or not. He doesn’t give up on me, even when I reject his compliments. And he always seems to know when I need to hear it the most.
4. He’s a handyman. Whether it’s putting in a ceiling fan or laying new flooring, he has done much of the work and updates to our house. Even if he isn’t sure how to do something, he will do the research and figure out if he can get it done.
5. He is supportive with my job. I absolutely love what I do. But since becoming a mother, I have been torn between those 2 roles in my life. Isaac has been with me every step of the way to make decisions and supported me 100% when I decided to go back to work part-time. It was a decision I could not have made, if I thought he wasn’t behind me all the way.
6. He’s a pastor! He has worked so hard to get to where he is. There have been times when we have questioned God’s calling on our lives, but it has been so amazing to see God’s purpose fulfilled before our very eyes! He is a great worship leader and is being stretched in several new and exciting ways. He embraces those things and the chance to learn new things, which in my humble opinion, makes him a wonderful Pastor of Worship and Family Ministries.
7. He takes the time to romance me. Whether it is planning our date nights, or leaving little notes around the house for me to find while he is away on a trip, he always is looking for new ways to show me I am loved and the only woman in his life.
8. He is intellectual. He talks about how much I like to read, but I tend to read fluff. His pleasure reading includes books by John Piper and Mark Driscoll and Erwin McManus. Not exactly light reading. He enjoys staying up on the news and current trends and is constantly looking for ways to expand his knowledge.
9. He is a better counselor than me. I have a Master’s degree in Human Development Counseling and in my opinion, he can run circles around me in the counseling arena. While I may have the knowledge base about counseling, he has the skills to reach people that just can’t be taught. He knows how to listen and draw people out in a way that is just second nature to him.
10. He is organized. Almost to a fault! Everything has it’s place and he is very particular about the way things are put in order. I enjoy being organized and it is so helpful having a husband who is the same!
11. He has worked so hard to be the man he is today. Anyone who has known Isaac since he was in high school can attest to his, um, colorful past. He became a Christian when he was 16 and had he not found Christ then, who knows where he would be today. He has never made excuses for his past but has used his experience to learn and grow into an amazing man of God. Not to mention, his relationship with his parents, once hanging by a thread, is now stronger than ever.
12. He is incredibly talented. Whether it is music or painting or writing, anything he chooses to focus on turns out amazing. He has composed songs, painted pictures, and written poems for me. And that’s just me! He uses all his talents well, whether it is leading worship at church or creating Christmas cards for someone.
13. He likes to make me breakfast. I am not much of a breakfast person, but honestly Isaac makes the best scrambled eggs. Just the fact that he wants to do something like that for me, makes me feel so special.
14. He takes care of me. Since I work 60 miles from home, Isaac always makes sure my car is in good condition. Whether it’s checking on something if I’m nervous, or even going out at 6am to fill the car up with gas, my safety and comfort are his priority. Even if something does go wrong, he makes sure to get it fixed right away.
15. He’s not too proud to say he is sorry. If he is in the wrong, he will admit it. Even times when he is justified in his actions or attitudes.
16. He works hard to control his temper. This is not to say that he has an anger problem, quite the contrary. I know there are times when he is frustrated with me and he always seems to get beyond that to discuss our disagreements to reach resolution. I know many times it would have been easier to get mad and engage in a yelling match, but he works hard to help me open up when I have shut him out.
17. He protects me. Before we were even dating, we went to Cornerstone for the day (I guess we were “in like”). During one of the concerts a mosh pit started up right next to us. He very deliberately placed himself between me and the moshers, so I wouldn’t get hurt. Even now, some 12 odd years later, I still remember it clearly. I remember thinking, ‘this guy will do anything to make sure I am safe.’ And I still feel that protected. Any situation that is remotely concerning, he is there.
18. He appreciates cleanliness. Now I am by no means a very clean person, but I do my best to keep our house neat. He takes note when I have worked hard to clean the house so I will know that he appreciates it. The added bonus is that many times, he will do the cleaning when I am gone or busy because he knows how much I appreciate it.
19. He likes my cooking! I really enjoy cooking, but have to admit my menu isn’t very exciting or varied. Often times I feel bad that I am such a picky eater because he only gets to eat the things that I like! I don’t think I have ever heard him complain about something I have made, and to hear him talk to other people, you’d think I was gourmet!
20. He only has eyes for me. In a society that embraces sensuality, I can appreciate (though I’ll never fully understand) how hard it is for a man, married or not, to maintain purity. Isaac makes sure I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I am the only one in his life. He works to avoid precarious situations and is sure not to even put himself in a place where there could be a hint of temptation. He talks to me about it and honors me in such a way that I never have to worry about his faithfulness to me.
I could go on and on but I think you get the picture. With a guy this amazing, how could I not marry him? Even more wonderful is the fact that I love him even more today than I did yesterday.
I don’t know if there is any research out there on the correlation between forgetfulness and having children, but if there is I think I would I would make an excellent case study.
A friend and I got together for lunch a few weeks ago and were laughing about our degrees of forgetfulness since having children. She has 2 children and I have 1. The more we talked about it and in the days since our lunch I have been acutely aware of how I feel I am just “slipping.” Some things are just funny and others really make me wonder if I need to use some brain games to boost my memorization skills or something.
For example, here are some things I have forgotten in the past several months:
Now these things may not be a big deal to some, but for me it has caused a few raised eyebrows or the occasional “I can’t believe Rachel would forget something like that!” So can I blame this on having a child or do I really need to own up to my mistakes and try harder in future? The scariest thing about this is that I only have 1 child! What will it be like when I have more?
Perhaps this research should be my doctoral thesis.
So Isaac got a package in the mail today. Nothing big, but a medium-sized envelope that contained a CD he had ordered. All over the front of the package it was stamped, postage due: $0.34 and postage paid by carrier. Please leave in (mail) box. Our carrier had left the package even though postage was owed on it.
Now don’t get me wrong, it was really nice of our carrier to pay for the $0.34, and I don’t mind reimbursing him for it at all. I mean really, $0.34 is not something to lose sleep over. But something does bother me and that is the fact that this package was sent first class. Meaning, that the POST OFFICE had to weigh and print out the postage before it was mailed. It had one of those nice printed labels with the bar code and pre-printed stamp that ONLY comes from the post office.
So explain to me, why do we (or our mail carrier for that matter) have to pay for the post office’s error?
